Old School Hack--the Fictive Way

The Road to Baffram

The Road Grows Wild and Dangerous


Timothy the Tulip, mighty gladiator.
Tibbers the Musical, inspirational goblin.
Skritt the Sneakthief, goblin packing firearms.
Kitten the Deadly, cute little gambler.
Wayland the Wild, penniless hunter.

(This adventure uses the “Road to Baffram” scenario. Players: if I missed something important, please let me know and I’ll update this.)

They began as the caravan eased into Gretchia after a long day’s trudge. They headed to the Unsteady Wench inn for some relief. Tulip had been dragging a hand cart loaded down with the wealth he and Skritt had amassed so far in their adventures. Tulip paid Honest Pete to look after the cart in the stable, then they headed inside—where all the local feminine attention was handily absorbed by Tulip’s manliness.

Tulip questioned them about the road ahead, finding out that it was dangerous, a sand wizard barred the way, there was some strange wind that stripped victims to the bone, and other good chilling tales of the road. Then he took his pack of ladies out to the barn, and to the hayloft.

Wayland, penniless, took a look around town. On his way back, he noticed a pack of sand creatures and three giant rock monsters lumbering towards the inn! He hollered for backup, and his allies rushed out as the monsters burst onto the scene.

In the ensuing carnage, Skritt destroyed one with repeated shots of his pistol. Tulip destroyed one with massive blows. The third fell to Wayland, who clambered atop it and knifed it repeatedly, severing the energies that held it together. Oddly, the rock monsters were interested in destroying the horses!

Meanwhile the sand creatures tried to kill everyone in the open area, then tore the front off the barn, while some raced through the inn starting fires. Kitten held her own, fending off sand monsters as they viciously flowed at her.

Since property damage was all the rage, Tibbers hunched on the roof of the barn and tore up shingles, finding ones that were aerodynamic enough to pitch down at the sand creatures, bursting them. He also played his new instrument, a three stringed lute/ukelele instrument for goblins called an impythri. His stirring stylings (vaguely reminiscent of Castle Vania music) inspired the whole group to greater efforts.

With the inn half destroyed, but all the horses saved, and no one killed except sand minions and rock monsters, the triumphant heroes settled in for the evening. Tulip found a blue tarp to use for a tent in the barn, and he garnished his reward from the very appreciative bar maids, who also bathed and groomed him.

When he returned to the inn common room, an old man approached the group, asking them if they would escort his daughter to Baffram for 200 gold per human; they bargained him up to adding 150 for each goblin too. So for 900 gold here, and 900 on the other end, they agreed to the job. Tibbers was suspicious, noting the old man was more spry than he pretended.

They met his daughter, Adelle, an innocent young lady, all blonde and blue eyed. Then they negotiated with the caravan leader, who was selling off his stuff as the road to Baffram was too dangerous for him to continue. After carousing with him, and the goblin Skritt’s starry-eyed plea, he sold two horses and a cart to the travelers.

They loaded the carts with their sacks of gold and some supplies for the road; firewood, horse fodder, water, and so on. Then, with Adelle, they headed out. (Also, during this time, Skritt became Wayland’s patron, funding the hunter’s expenses in exchange for having a sort of pet human.)

Some ways out, following the flags, they hit a supernatural sandstorm. Tulip and Wayland scouted, and staggered back badly sand-burned and disoriented after having seen sand-monsters awaiting the travlers. They tried feinting around the sandstorm wall, and in so doing, discovered it moved with them. Skritt waited as the wall moved, and snapped off a shot with his pistol, winging the wizard hiding in the rocks!

As the sand monster and sandlings attacked, Tulip guarded one horse from the rock monster, Kitten guarded the other from sandlings. They managed to hold their own, and pull victory from danger, and Skritt killed the wizard. Adelle killed the rock monster by flinging her only knife into it’s eye, helping them carry the battle. They regrouped, examining the wizard’s corpse and taking his staff, then moving on down the road.

The next day they followed the road from the desert flags to the badlands, the road now marked with waystones carved with the Khuselb Wizard sigil. Fortunately, they did not attract the attention of massive flying creatures, hyenas, snakes, and other menaces in the desert.

However, they reached a rockslide across the path, and saw heat mirages; Tulip investigated, to find a swarming monster of unfocus, eyes, fangs, and whip-like tendrils. As he battled the eye-smarting and sanity-bending creature, Wayland and Skritt maneuvered to the cliff over head. Wayland fired into the fight, and Tulip defended himself as best he could, and they brought the creature down; like a puma with six legs, and flesh whips from its shoulders. Other monsters cried out in the rocks, outraged but not to the point of attack—not yet.

They emptied the carts, carried them through the rock slide, leading the horses, and reloaded everything on the other side. Meanwhile Skritt shot one of the strange creatures that was flanking them, scoring a solid hit, chasing it off.

Piling the monster corpse in the cart, they pushed on as fast as they could.

Later, they found a watering hole, and Tibbers found three-toed bird-like tracks around it; Wayland identified slith sign, and after the experience Tibbers and Tulip had surviving the Lopelia fort, they urged the party to go on as fast as they could!

Eventually, they got close to Baffram; but there was a wide stone arch over a chasm, separating the end of the badlands and the beginning of the high grassy steppes. As they headed for the road, a terrifying troll confronted them!

They put up a fierce struggle, firing pistols, arrows, knives, and whatever came to hand at the monster as the warriors slashed and stabbed at the monster. As fast as they rammed lethal damage into it, the monster’s wounds sealed before their eyes! Finally they got the upper hand, and the creature retreated, rather than fighting to the death. They let it go, limping across the bridge with their treasure.

Finally they reached Baffram, passing through it’s granite gates for a hefty fee. Adelle told them she needed to check in with her uncle, and they would get paid tomorrow. She asked that they stay at the Thrown Shoe. They did. She headed to the bathroom, and Kitten followed, noting her sliding out the window! Kitten gave chase, yelling, and the goblins followed, scampering into the ladies room and darting out the window, pursuing Kitten, who pursued Adelle.

The goblins hollered “hobbalobbalobba hobba lobba” as they ran; a goblin trait, they have a third lung to allow them to do so, to allow them to be tracked by noise in the endless dark. So Wayland and Tulip could chase the goblins.

Through a baker’s basement kitchen (where the goblins were covered in flour) and all through the back alleys, until Adelle failed a jump and fell into the canal; Tibbers was not about to let her escape, and he flung himself into the canal, swimming after her.

Adelle swam under a grate, and climbed out of the sewer on a stone shelf, muttering curses to herself in the Assassin’s tongue; she did not see that Tibbers still pursued, and he tracked her till she left the sewers and took to the street, dressing in a kitchen wench’s garb and heading for the Nylak Trade Guildhouse.

Tibbers attacked her as she headed in, bloodying her with his knife, but she slipped around him and called to the guard for help, escaping into the compound. Tibbers grimly followed, melded with the shadows, tracking her as she changed clothes to hooker wear, and headed up a tower back stair, telling a guard she had an “appointment.” Tibbers interrupted, using his illusion of innocence to persuade the guard that she was an assassin. A tussle followed, and the guard overwhelmed her, so Tibbers escaped to avoid awkward questions.

Reunited, the travelers shared their experiences of the chase, and then reflected that while they didn’t get the extra 900 gold, they were still totally rich; time to plan adventures in Baffram!



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